2am in the orange glow of the street lights I feel strangely at peace. I'm not sure why but life's worries seem to melt away on warm nights like this. Seinfeld urban foxes gives the city a second life (not to be confused with that awful online world filled with yiffing and other unmentionable things). This city belongs to the insomniac, drunkard, taxi cab and the thief. A world without visible people, most snug in their beds, isn't as disturbing as it may sound. I hunt for a kebab(some habits are hard to kick) but none are open. Outside of the drunk and taxi lain streets of Watford us wanderers are not catered to. I see another pass me by on his meandering. Not a wanderer like me but a drunk struggling to get home. While not like me he is one if us. The empty night belongs to him as well. An ambulance turns to a street in front of me. They are not part of this place, but travel through it. Collecting those of broken sleeper or the drunks who drank too much. The quiet increases as I near my own place of slumber. This quiet world will pass from me to those still here till it is passed to others only to be drowned out by a waking world. This world will return again. when sun is gone and people rest. Will you walk this wasteland? Or will pass it to others as it passes you by.
Good night and sweet dreams all. Thank you for the world of quiet.
This is a triumph, I'm making a note here. huge success. although my satisfaction is non existent.
Burnout. only word to describe what I'm going through now. Ive got no drive whatsoever for anything that life throws at me. Yes, welcome once again to my little emo corner filled with despair for a system that lies to us(don't worry, it wont take long). We are told to make it in life, like there is some sort of goal. I reckon most of us will make reach that so called goal and go 'oh I'm here... I feel no different than i did before'. Bah the lie that is life.
This burnout doesn't just make me spew existential bile. Ive lost all draw to studying and video games. Thats right, i cant even procrastinate properly. i think i succeeded in doing absolutely nothing yesterday for 2 hours. Don't ask me how, i don't remember doing anything, i didn't go on any website, no emails either. i just sat there. The video games burnout has been a long lime coming. i mean, i managed to hit 70 in wow in half the time it has take my house mate. For anyone who does play i have my Cenarion war hipogryph (for those of you who don't, lets just say it takes a lot of days and some god awfully teamwork experiences. I reckon I'll let my account slide for a bit after this. Bad news for the guild I'm trying to make but i think they'll cope.
On to a more happy note, i've finally got some ink cartridges that work properly in my printer along with the transfers. This means i can make one of the t-shirts i've been planning. Ive sorted out a headcrab vombie for my ravenholm t-shirt, just need to get the text to the font i like and printed. This production time is now purely based on the laziness timescale. Time taken (T) to complete the talk is proportional to how complete it is(Omg). From this we have the 'k' I'll do it' constant.
therefore, T=Kk Omg
Meaning that since is job is practically complete except printing and ironing i may take a eternity to do and will never truly be complete. 'Kk' is situational dependent and can be itself calculate based on age, task and so forth.
A suitable song for today, and one that i found in WoWradio. called 'the device has been modified'.
Trying to keep up the science flow and feel of the day with that one. Still waiting to save up enough money to buy a new computer which can play portal. Apparently people are now making there own level for it now so i can play it longer than a few hours which first completion takes. Me and mark(cousin) ripped our way through..mainly because i wanted to hear the final song.
Ok, I'm seriously pissed of with myself in many ways which will now be addressed in turn. The main one of course being that i've totally neglected to update this damn blog of mine.
I started this blog as a way for me to put some of my views into the tubes and generally moan like a little emo boy a bit about my life (insert a 'your doing it wrong' joke) all my great ideas of what to talk about have come and gone. Its not like i've been doing anything productive in this wide space of time. Of course i've had study to do and labs but they don't dramatically cut into free time to any great degree. Ive simply vegged out on the sofa playing wow.
Another thing I'm pissed of with is my room. I usually spend a day cleaning it up like a OCD kid who hasn't taken their meds. Ive just been picking up laundry off the floor as and when i've needed it. This means i've usually got one was load on the floor one in the machine and one drying.
To lump all of this together i feel like im stagnating. Sitting here with nothing new happening to me. All my ideas and projects even don't get off the ground or don't reach fruition. For example i started playing around with photoshop again to up my skill with it and actually max some amusing picture. spent one day on it then did something else. Its not like I even got bored of it, i just didn't do it. Yes this is my own little corner. I also feel that i need to talk to more people, i see one of two people once a week and a few people every two weeks and lets just say its getting to me. Two words 'female contact' thats whats missing, hanging out with fill covers all they guy jokes gaming insults and that stuff but meeting people i have a chance to pull or get to know isn't happening. hell, being single sucks.
I think iive spewed enough self hate now. Here is an awesome music video by a band i'm a quiet fan of.
All sympathy welcome, all hookups welcome as unlikely as they are >_>
Not long till exams now and i'm guessing that this will be now updated more often.
Happy time now.
Im making a set of t-shirts based on half life 2 and portal. I'll post some action pics once made. this project is lasting quite well so we will see what happens.
Despite previous posts about family holidays i can say that this one was an amazing success. I'm quite sure if anyone else in my family has/had a blog they would agree with me fervently *holds baseball bat menacingly* good, see they all agree. Now i shall recount to you the best bits (at least in my opinion)
I came home on the Thursday night late after havoc on the trains. Once again proof that the world hates me. A pleasant surprise (well not really a surprise) awaited me upon my return. My cousins Becky and Christopher had both arrived safe and sound for our set off the next morning. The journey was your usual long trip from A to B with a ferry in between. Got there in good time and managed to get in our first swim of the holiday.
Over the days that followed we had many a trip out to castles and towns. Far too many towns in my opinion, just the one would have been good enough. Managed to get someone else to experience the joy that is Kanon. The wii was brought with me for recreational purposes which can be summed up with two words 'Mario Football' the game is amazing and legendary. To continue my bad luck in such things Dave surpassed me at it incredibly quickly. Becky also introduced us all to the gaming devolution which is board and card games (apparently of high level geekdom in the realm of strategy board games) Sporting names such as 'Citadel' and 'San Juan', the later taking hours to play and complete but damn is it worth it. The card game Citadel has the unfortunate side effect of getting someone pissed off. unfortunately i think its a good tactic to keep my opponents trodden into the dirt (the side of me you will only see when you are warring with me in any shape or form).
Swimming nearly every day was great, with a family game of piggy in the middle. I' m quite proud to say that i was hard to keep in the middle what with my suicidal form of jumping in the air at the expense of water flying up my nose. Volleyball was also added to our repertoire making this an almost healthy holiday. Lucky i canceled this out with the daily BBQ for dinner, once again my skills were appreciated (though for the life of me i still cant get garlic bread to work, double tin foil and it doesn't cook one layer it burns GAH!!!).
I can happily say i had a great time. If I'm missing anything though I'll mention it another post. god know i should have written it down at the time.
song time at last some music. A change of pace if you will again from my last set of songs. This one holds a lot of memories from the past for me. Hearing it as a kid has made it part of who i am. So here i present 'Mike and the Mechanics' singing 'Over my shoulder'
Tah Tar
Human spell checker - Mad Hatter (Belle) (Nanna) (Jan-na-na-na-net)
Indeed you should fear my power, but more on that later. I've decided to start off today entry with a song. This came on my ipod on the way home and made me smile. the lyrics of this song have all ways made me smile, so simple and powerful. Plus this gives you something to listen to as you read.
My desk at work is covered ( i exaggerate in a very big way when i say this...in fact there are only 4 of them) in paper art. Stuff that you cunt out and glue at strategic points in order to round and define shapes. Sufficed to say it has kept me amused for many an hour at work. Kamatari, Link and Nana surround my monitor while others are disregarded by the CCTV monitor.
Having Nana there is kind of unnerving to say the least. sitting there, her eyes all tearful. (at this point i feel i should explain who i mean WARNING LINK NSFW Nana's everyday life it requires a lot of background knowledge in anime..or just a sick mind, your choice). *moves Nana out onto the street* perhaps she will find papa. Wtf is wrong with me (besides the things on the list...), i ask you people.
Last Sunday saw me getting my first Sunday off in aaaaages. since the other part timer decided to quit I've been doing every shift under the sun (though this isn't correct as i do the evening shift. oh how i love the pedantic). This means i still have no free time, Ive missed two possible pub meet ups, and there isn't much i can do about it. How i got the day off is the real story. Originally i was suppose to have that Sunday off, as we took it in turns to do the weekends, but with the vacancy they wanted me to work it. I took bull by the horns (the politest name for my boss so far) and said 'I cannot work this Sunday' it was brilliant, they claimed i didn't give them enough notice. I replied by pointing out that i wasn't working that Sunday at all until two days ago, and that Sunday would make it 7 days in a row and a breach of my working hours. Take that management! i continued by pointing out all the extra shifts i had covered so far and that i was working till 10pm. No way you can make me out to be the bad guy in that situation. Fear my power over management.
I had a spring in my step for the next few days i can tell you. It's one of those jobs that i get great satisfaction from completely because you can look at it and see the effort you put in to complete and shape it. Compare this to completing an essay. When done you feel a great sense of relief but looking at it doesn't really give you any more satisfaction. Maybe I'm alone in this view.
Yesterday morning (i know, the M word) saw me making a few bob as well. I assembled a flat pack wardrobe, the thing was massive. took me good 3 hours at least I finally managed to get a copy of harry potter on Tuesday and have finished it. Don't worry i wont comment on the story or plot at all. I ask you all though, what do we do now? seriously, what is there to wait for and anticipate to that degree? Hopefully i will find something with that much sway over me again.
Now on to some major news. I'm going on holiday to Germany. Huzzar and go me. Wont write down what plans have been shaped for my trip or anything like that... i recon i could stretch it to two or three blog posts (knowing me it'll be one, and it'll be a week late...but *shssssssh* don't tell me that). Am leaving at 4am tomorrow and return 14th. Wish my luck on my journey, its cheaper and tax deductible is its a gift.
That'll do for today. If I'm missing anything I'll edit it in or mention it next post. Tutar
Human spell checker - Mad Hatter (Belle) (Nanna) (Jan-na-na-na-net)
Honest to god i cant think of a title for today's entry. Why I'd be telling this to god I don't, it's not like he'd read my blog. Then again I'm pretty sure no one reads this thing. YOU ALL SMELL! ha, take that no existent reader... not you really ones. You don't smell. (I think I got away with that one)
No particular theme for today's blog other than that I'm bored at work with an hour to kill. I've given up hand writing these before I post them because I never seem to get around to it and if i really want a paper copy i can always just print one off... oh dear god. No one is to print this off ever... *starts learning html to stop this happening* *gives up*
Ive done some fun things since my last post I'm sure. Oh yes i have indeed reader... ummm, it'll come to me as I type. while you wait an apple update. My need as been curbed due only to my mothers purchases of truly disgusting range of apples. I'm not sure if you lot are totally with the apple scene with all the cool kids. But the most common and cheapest is cox apples, and you get what you pay for, cardboard appears to be their closest relatives. Cutting it short, granny smith 'apples = god like', 'golden delicious = good when fresh'. My mum has bought Jazz apples, these get worse are the days go on.
I now remember what I've been up to. Went to a party at the Sanders residence, twas fancy dress. Unfortunately I couldn't dress up as a pirate. So what did i do? i dressed as Gandalf... yup, you can see the natural progression can't you. It was on the theme of musicals, and due to the lord of the rings musical (and Mary's request) I came as Gandalf. Lets just say some costumes were interesting. I had a good night.
I am suffering immensely right now. Harry Potter has been released and i don't have the money for my own copy. Someone kill me...or just give me your copy. Why does the word conspire against me I ask you? (please send all answers to PFT.Shadow@gmail.com ).
I'm sure the world is conspiring against me at this point. Money seems to be draining from my account quicker than i had budgeted for. I even budgeted for unexpected parties (sad i know, but i need my money to live next year). The weather on friday was fine example of this. The rain has decided to pour down during the day stopping just before i leave. this of course was just a ruse. Arriving at the station my first train is delayed, i manage to get one station down the line and the whole thing closes down. Had to make a complicated maneuver involving three changes and a notional rail train. I made it on time, perfectly as i remember. You can thank my mum for that for Giving me a lift to the station.
Change of pace again for music. I hadn't noticed this song till the other day at Claire's house. Usually id switch away from Pink's work as I've not been a big fan but this one has grown on me incredibly quickly. The lyrics are quite good as well. Here is Pink-'Alone I'm lonely'
Well that's all for today, another update with a title hopefully Tutar
Human spell checker - Mad Hatter (Belle) (Nanna) (Jan-na-na-na-net)
Hello again, welcome to a place where nothing is quite as it seems. A place where the abnormal is normal, where Puns are a language and currency. Welcome... To my brain.
Anyway, to the job at hand (all things considered finger tip and and brain would suit better). My weeks since my last post have been dull and uneventful. yet i will still write this to pass time and get some thoughts down on the tubes.
I have been forced into apple cold turkey (sounds like a recipe to avoid) due to a lack of them being purchased. One a day keeps me ticking over. So if you have any pity, send your apples to the Jason relief fund today.
Well, I say uneventful. I have, looking back at my diary, done a lot of things. Lets start with Janet's Party.
This was truly a great party, based on the theme of 'What you wanted to be when you were younger'. At first the title sounds great and full of possibility such as the multi verse itself... Then it hit me, i don't remember what i wanted to be. This caused much panic and deliberation to take place within my brain. Finally i settled on Pirate, for those of you that know me this is no surprise, for which i already owned a costume. Before anyone questions me, i did in fact want to be a pirate. In fact i had a whole party themed to it when i was little, so there =P. Evidence must be provided since i think my costume was made of Awesome in a can (just add Win). Pirates, Yarrrrr! Anyway, the party went well, drunk people made asses out of themselves. So all round a good party.
The next day was the Ichigos meetup. Great to finally put screen names and avatars to faces. Makes the who cyber friendship thing seem a bit more worth it. We went to pizza hut and general manga shopping. I even managed to drag a load of them through Brewers street (for those of you who aren't aware of such things, this is THE place to shop in Soho for...things). To put the icing on the cake it was gay pride. Oh how I laughed on the inside. Pictures of the crew
I finished off that weekend with an extra shift at work on the Sunday. Doing a morning shift for a change. These students don't know the meaning of 'Leave by 10'. I had to pester them every 15 mins to get a move on. Eventually they left. when i say left i mean they left there room, dumped all their stuff in the office and hung around for hours.
Oh and another recent event was a haphazard reunion of a large group of my friends at the pub. Nice and informal with me and Matt getting well and truly pissed, much to the amazement and amusement of Andrew. One of what I'm sure will be the highlights of this summer for me.
While i have managed to meet up with some friends other seem to have disappeared off the face of the planet. I guess my slightly more reasonable sleeping pattern doesn't suit a lot of people i know. Oh well screw you guys, I need to go to sleep before 1am now.
Oh, and another thing again. Went to see the Tour de France on Saturday with my dad. Good to have something as popular as the Tour starting in the UK this year. Saturday was the time trials. I'm amazed at the speed these riders can achieve. I'm hoping to get back into it this year after a rather over shadowed tour last year with Armstrong retiring and others pulling out for unannounced(at the time that is. Its now common belief that major doping was taking place) after the discover of lots of blood in a team boot. The Floyd Landis's test after his amazing stage recovery showed shockingly abnormal amounts of testosterone. This time tomorrow he may have his title stripped from him.
Anyway, I've been wondering what music to put up and suddenly realized that i haven't forced Garbage into your ears ( not literally of course). Then come the choice of what to play, this was solved pretty quickly by the choice available to me on youtube. Ive Noticed that they have just released a greatest hits. If any of you love me you will buy me it. So listen to this, one of my favorites.
and these http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cizBRwETDwc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N29vkIT3eo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-CHEnJ7gnc
If you haven't guessed this one one of my favorite bands. I haven't got a poster of Shirley Manson on my wall honest, my geek girl idol.
Anyway, thats enough typing for today. Enjoy your read. Tutar
Human spell checker - Mad Hatter (Belle) (Nanna) (Jan-na-na-na-net)
Name: Labores Home: United Kingdom About Me: A chemistry student with too much time, well not a lot of time but I don’t use it appropriately. I spend too much time reading as well. Damn my brain. Writing this rubbish down makes me feel better. See my complete profile
